Monday, November 24, 2008
Val J. Peter
Introduction:
If people are to succeed in life, they need self-discipline and self-restraint. These are absolutely essential, not only for this life but for entering eternal life. The Lord says: “Take up your cross and follow Me.” Wisdom of the east and the west repeatedly says the same thing, namely, we need to learn self-discipline and self-restraint if we are to achieve our goals. This is written for you young people to read as a way to encourage you to start on the path of disciplining yourself and learning to restrain yourself. So let’s start at the beginning.
1. Training in Discipline Must Begin Early
When you are born into the world, there is usually joy surrounding the little baby. The baby has needs for nurturing, nutrition, cleanliness, constant care and a lot of warmth which adults like moms and dads can bring. When you, as a child, begin to crawl and walk, you come into what are called “the terrible twos.” You, as a child, are now able to express yourself and every good mom knows this is the time you need to be trained in self-discipline and self-restraint. Think of the following examples:
You can’t turn the light switch on and off 400 times. That’s a no no.
You cannot beat your baby brother over the head with a bottle anytime you get a chance. That’s a no no.
You have to start to say thank you and please. That’s a big yes.
You have to learn that there are positive consequences for good behavior and negative consequences for bad behavior.
Mom or grandma are usually the ones who have to help you learn these things. So does dad. Big brothers and big sisters also are there to help.
2. Now Comes Self-discipline
Even before you start kindergarten, your parents and others need to help you understand that you must begin to discipline yourself. You have to take an active part in developing what are called the “civilizing skills.” You have to learn not to play with fire…not to run across the street without looking…not to take the toys of someone else without asking and always give them back.
3. More Discipline
You also have to learn that there is a difference between telling the truth and lying. You have to learn that to tell the truth takes discipline. Lying is easy. You have to learn not to cheat, but to be honest. Cheating is the easy way out. Honesty is the best policy. You have to learn not to steal. You have to learn to give to people what is theirs and not take things secretly or by force from them. All of this is the your disciplining yourself so that you can achieve your goals. Without self-discipline, you will not achieve goals in life because anger or jealousy or selfishness will be in charge and you don’t want that to happen.
4. You Need Discipline to be a Happy Family
Some of the things you need to learn are necessary for your family to be a happy family. Hollering, screaming and yelling all the time are not going to make you into a happy family. Throwing food isn’t going to make you a happy family. There are lots of things like that. We call them politeness or common courtesy and they involve introducing yourselves, not demanding things, but asking for things and many others.
5. Your Active Role in Self-discipline
When you are still young, you need to begin your moral and religious training. You need to begin to realize where you came from and where you are going. Where did you come from? You came from the hand of God. God is the source of all goodness, all kindness, all holiness, the source of warmth and caring. All the great religions of the world describe the Higher Power in this way. You have come from the hand of the Creator who is good, loving, kind and compassionate.
Oftentimes, it is at this point that you begin to realize you are born into a broken world. You don’t have a perfect family and you aren’t perfect either. No family is perfect. And as you start growing, you realize you make mistakes and you have troubles. And sometimes the troubles are because people are mean to you, but other times, the troubles are of your own making because you lie, cheat or steal and those are all sins.
6. Temptation
So you are pulled in two directions…in the direction of good (that comes from the hand of God)…and you are pulled in the direction of bad (that does not come from the hand of God).
It’s almost like we have two earphones, one telling us to do good, to love, to be kind. That’s the voice of God. And in the other ear, telling us to be selfish, mean, lying, cheating, stealing and not caring about anybody else.
Inside ourselves we have great, great desire for the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness. God sent His Son into our world. Christ’s promises are that if we place our trust in Him and not rely on our own strength, but with the grace of God, you will find this happiness. This is called hope. You want to be a person of hope.
Now there are two kinds of hope, both of which are very important. The first kind is the kind that you learn from experience. You learn that if you study hard, then you can expect to pass an examination. That makes you hopeful that you will do well. Oh, sometimes you fail, but you know if you pick yourself up that you will succeed. So you are a hopeful person. This is the natural virtue of hope.
At the same time, if you have faith and trust in God, you know that God has made you loveable and you know that God will rescue you from your sins and troubles if you trust Him. That is hope, too. He can be relied on.
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I’m found.
I once was blind, but now I see.
That’s a person with hope in God.
So life is a struggle, but if you have faith it is a struggle that you know that God will be with you to overcome your sins and problems if you trust Him and turn to Him in prayer and self-discipline.
7. Self-denial
What is self-discipline? Self-discipline is self-denial. When you want to steal, you have to deny yourself and say: no, I’m not going to. When you want to lie, you have to say: no, I’m not going to lie. Now when you have lied, you have to say: I’m very sorry for lying. Please forgive me. That’s self-denial. It is also known as impulse control.
Virtues are good habits. Vices are bad habits. Good habits are the Six Pillars of character with faith added to each of them. Vices are very bad habits such as lying, cheating, stealing, sexually ripping people off.
We also have to learn how to control our thoughts and emotions. If we are emotionally down and we keep thinking of bad things and say how bad life is going to get, we will get more down. If we are emotionally angry and want to lie, cheat, steal or sexually rip people off, it will happen. We have to learn to be in charge of ourselves. You do that through good habits. If we watch lots of pornography or think of ripping off girls all the time, we will act that out. But if we avoid pornography and think of boy/girl relationships in terms of friendship and not ripping each other off, friendship will develop.
Every successful person knows that every day you have to deny yourself when you are tempted to lie, cheat, steal, be lazy, hurt someone, be bad to others, neglect your duties. You have to deny yourself. That’s self-denial.
It’s what Jesus told us to do: “Take up your cross and follow Me.” It’s essential. Jesus also said: “If you do not take up your cross, you cannot be my follower.” Every boy and girl at Boys Town has to learn to take up their cross and follow Jesus. Do you want to be a person of hope? Do you want to develop self-discipline? Do you want to be a person of success? Then you have to develop religious devotion because you need the strength to practice self-denial. It is the grace that God give you when you pray to the Lord earnestly. He will give you the grace and strength you need.
8. We are Powerless by Ourselves and Become Powerful by…Turning to God
The first step in AA is to realize that we are powerless before the sins and troubles of our lives and the second step is when we realize we have to get in touch with the Higher Power.
Religious devotion is turning to the Lord with our everyday prayers. You should have four or five prayers that you say at least every day in good times and in bad. You will discover when you start saying your prayers every day your life is happier because you have God’s strength. You cannot be happy by lying, cheating and stealing. Life won’t go well for you.
The goal of life is not self-realization. The goal of life is to love God with our whole heart. So self-denial involves serious self-restraint.
9. Mental Health
Much research on mental health shows that our well being is connected with the practice of religion and that our mental health is much better when we follow the Ten Commandments. In other words, a firm commitment to a good sound moral life through prayer and self-discipline has a very, very positive impact on us. We become more hopeful and more successful.
10.Ask God’s Help
We know that hope, as well as optimism are key ingredients. An optimistic and a hopeful person both say that with significant effort on our part and good prayer life, we can expect good results. Religious hope contains an added element, namely, that the expectation of success for you is in part due to the help and generosity you know you will receive from God if you but ask Him.
In other words, hope always involves the expectation in the one who is hoping that the good Lord will come to your aid and help you succeed in very difficult tasks. Hope means God is more powerful than you. And when you get in touch with that power, good things happen. Hope also entails a big element of friendship with God.
11.Daily Devotion/Daily Prayer
Devotion or daily prayer means that you surrender yourself to the service of God. And meditation and thinking about God in prayer is a big cause of devotion. And one of the big effects of devotion is joy.
What about loneliness? When loneliness comes our way, most of us find two things are very, very helpful. The first is that we talk to someone who loves us and cares for us. Perhaps it’s a friend or a relative who we know loves us. But it also involves prayer to God because when we pray we know God loves us very much and is close to us and we are close to God and that takes away our loneliness. We are not alone. God is with us.
12.Conclusion
So boys and girls, let us commit ourselves to the following:
(1) Let us commit ourselves to daily devotions. If you don’t have daily devotions, let’s start some. Get a little prayer book. Use your Bible. Pray to God every day. That develops great friendship with God.
(2) Practice self-denial. When you are tempted to do bad things say: “God, please help me” and stop yourself. When you are tempted to cheat, say: “Lord, please help me” and then stop yourself.
Both bring you great happiness.
Virtue is not possible without friends. Why do you we have church? Why do you think we have good Christian friends? True friendship always involves some element of sacrifice between persons who are like-minded and striving for common noble good. A true friend always sees his or her good tied to the good of the other. Virtue is not possible without friendship with God. Friendship requires the courage to resist evil and not hurting a friend and speaking the truth when they need to know it and standing up for one’s friend. A coward has no friends. Neither does a two-faced person.
When you think of it, we all depend on the love and generosity of God and each other. Happiness means that I am willing to help put your happiness as a priority in my life. Sacrifice is standing up courageously to moral dangers. Friendship with Christ through prayer and self-discipline and care of one’s brothers or sisters is the very best of all. This is the teaching of the Bible and it is the teaching of Father Flanagan.
Introduction:
If people are to succeed in life, they need self-discipline and self-restraint. These are absolutely essential, not only for this life but for entering eternal life. The Lord says: “Take up your cross and follow Me.” Wisdom of the east and the west repeatedly says the same thing, namely, we need to learn self-discipline and self-restraint if we are to achieve our goals. This is written for you young people to read as a way to encourage you to start on the path of disciplining yourself and learning to restrain yourself. So let’s start at the beginning.
1. Training in Discipline Must Begin Early
When you are born into the world, there is usually joy surrounding the little baby. The baby has needs for nurturing, nutrition, cleanliness, constant care and a lot of warmth which adults like moms and dads can bring. When you, as a child, begin to crawl and walk, you come into what are called “the terrible twos.” You, as a child, are now able to express yourself and every good mom knows this is the time you need to be trained in self-discipline and self-restraint. Think of the following examples:
You can’t turn the light switch on and off 400 times. That’s a no no.
You cannot beat your baby brother over the head with a bottle anytime you get a chance. That’s a no no.
You have to start to say thank you and please. That’s a big yes.
You have to learn that there are positive consequences for good behavior and negative consequences for bad behavior.
Mom or grandma are usually the ones who have to help you learn these things. So does dad. Big brothers and big sisters also are there to help.
2. Now Comes Self-discipline
Even before you start kindergarten, your parents and others need to help you understand that you must begin to discipline yourself. You have to take an active part in developing what are called the “civilizing skills.” You have to learn not to play with fire…not to run across the street without looking…not to take the toys of someone else without asking and always give them back.
3. More Discipline
You also have to learn that there is a difference between telling the truth and lying. You have to learn that to tell the truth takes discipline. Lying is easy. You have to learn not to cheat, but to be honest. Cheating is the easy way out. Honesty is the best policy. You have to learn not to steal. You have to learn to give to people what is theirs and not take things secretly or by force from them. All of this is the your disciplining yourself so that you can achieve your goals. Without self-discipline, you will not achieve goals in life because anger or jealousy or selfishness will be in charge and you don’t want that to happen.
4. You Need Discipline to be a Happy Family
Some of the things you need to learn are necessary for your family to be a happy family. Hollering, screaming and yelling all the time are not going to make you into a happy family. Throwing food isn’t going to make you a happy family. There are lots of things like that. We call them politeness or common courtesy and they involve introducing yourselves, not demanding things, but asking for things and many others.
5. Your Active Role in Self-discipline
When you are still young, you need to begin your moral and religious training. You need to begin to realize where you came from and where you are going. Where did you come from? You came from the hand of God. God is the source of all goodness, all kindness, all holiness, the source of warmth and caring. All the great religions of the world describe the Higher Power in this way. You have come from the hand of the Creator who is good, loving, kind and compassionate.
Oftentimes, it is at this point that you begin to realize you are born into a broken world. You don’t have a perfect family and you aren’t perfect either. No family is perfect. And as you start growing, you realize you make mistakes and you have troubles. And sometimes the troubles are because people are mean to you, but other times, the troubles are of your own making because you lie, cheat or steal and those are all sins.
6. Temptation
So you are pulled in two directions…in the direction of good (that comes from the hand of God)…and you are pulled in the direction of bad (that does not come from the hand of God).
It’s almost like we have two earphones, one telling us to do good, to love, to be kind. That’s the voice of God. And in the other ear, telling us to be selfish, mean, lying, cheating, stealing and not caring about anybody else.
Inside ourselves we have great, great desire for the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness. God sent His Son into our world. Christ’s promises are that if we place our trust in Him and not rely on our own strength, but with the grace of God, you will find this happiness. This is called hope. You want to be a person of hope.
Now there are two kinds of hope, both of which are very important. The first kind is the kind that you learn from experience. You learn that if you study hard, then you can expect to pass an examination. That makes you hopeful that you will do well. Oh, sometimes you fail, but you know if you pick yourself up that you will succeed. So you are a hopeful person. This is the natural virtue of hope.
At the same time, if you have faith and trust in God, you know that God has made you loveable and you know that God will rescue you from your sins and troubles if you trust Him. That is hope, too. He can be relied on.
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I’m found.
I once was blind, but now I see.
That’s a person with hope in God.
So life is a struggle, but if you have faith it is a struggle that you know that God will be with you to overcome your sins and problems if you trust Him and turn to Him in prayer and self-discipline.
7. Self-denial
What is self-discipline? Self-discipline is self-denial. When you want to steal, you have to deny yourself and say: no, I’m not going to. When you want to lie, you have to say: no, I’m not going to lie. Now when you have lied, you have to say: I’m very sorry for lying. Please forgive me. That’s self-denial. It is also known as impulse control.
Virtues are good habits. Vices are bad habits. Good habits are the Six Pillars of character with faith added to each of them. Vices are very bad habits such as lying, cheating, stealing, sexually ripping people off.
We also have to learn how to control our thoughts and emotions. If we are emotionally down and we keep thinking of bad things and say how bad life is going to get, we will get more down. If we are emotionally angry and want to lie, cheat, steal or sexually rip people off, it will happen. We have to learn to be in charge of ourselves. You do that through good habits. If we watch lots of pornography or think of ripping off girls all the time, we will act that out. But if we avoid pornography and think of boy/girl relationships in terms of friendship and not ripping each other off, friendship will develop.
Every successful person knows that every day you have to deny yourself when you are tempted to lie, cheat, steal, be lazy, hurt someone, be bad to others, neglect your duties. You have to deny yourself. That’s self-denial.
It’s what Jesus told us to do: “Take up your cross and follow Me.” It’s essential. Jesus also said: “If you do not take up your cross, you cannot be my follower.” Every boy and girl at Boys Town has to learn to take up their cross and follow Jesus. Do you want to be a person of hope? Do you want to develop self-discipline? Do you want to be a person of success? Then you have to develop religious devotion because you need the strength to practice self-denial. It is the grace that God give you when you pray to the Lord earnestly. He will give you the grace and strength you need.
8. We are Powerless by Ourselves and Become Powerful by…Turning to God
The first step in AA is to realize that we are powerless before the sins and troubles of our lives and the second step is when we realize we have to get in touch with the Higher Power.
Religious devotion is turning to the Lord with our everyday prayers. You should have four or five prayers that you say at least every day in good times and in bad. You will discover when you start saying your prayers every day your life is happier because you have God’s strength. You cannot be happy by lying, cheating and stealing. Life won’t go well for you.
The goal of life is not self-realization. The goal of life is to love God with our whole heart. So self-denial involves serious self-restraint.
9. Mental Health
Much research on mental health shows that our well being is connected with the practice of religion and that our mental health is much better when we follow the Ten Commandments. In other words, a firm commitment to a good sound moral life through prayer and self-discipline has a very, very positive impact on us. We become more hopeful and more successful.
10.Ask God’s Help
We know that hope, as well as optimism are key ingredients. An optimistic and a hopeful person both say that with significant effort on our part and good prayer life, we can expect good results. Religious hope contains an added element, namely, that the expectation of success for you is in part due to the help and generosity you know you will receive from God if you but ask Him.
In other words, hope always involves the expectation in the one who is hoping that the good Lord will come to your aid and help you succeed in very difficult tasks. Hope means God is more powerful than you. And when you get in touch with that power, good things happen. Hope also entails a big element of friendship with God.
11.Daily Devotion/Daily Prayer
Devotion or daily prayer means that you surrender yourself to the service of God. And meditation and thinking about God in prayer is a big cause of devotion. And one of the big effects of devotion is joy.
What about loneliness? When loneliness comes our way, most of us find two things are very, very helpful. The first is that we talk to someone who loves us and cares for us. Perhaps it’s a friend or a relative who we know loves us. But it also involves prayer to God because when we pray we know God loves us very much and is close to us and we are close to God and that takes away our loneliness. We are not alone. God is with us.
12.Conclusion
So boys and girls, let us commit ourselves to the following:
(1) Let us commit ourselves to daily devotions. If you don’t have daily devotions, let’s start some. Get a little prayer book. Use your Bible. Pray to God every day. That develops great friendship with God.
(2) Practice self-denial. When you are tempted to do bad things say: “God, please help me” and stop yourself. When you are tempted to cheat, say: “Lord, please help me” and then stop yourself.
Both bring you great happiness.
Virtue is not possible without friends. Why do you we have church? Why do you think we have good Christian friends? True friendship always involves some element of sacrifice between persons who are like-minded and striving for common noble good. A true friend always sees his or her good tied to the good of the other. Virtue is not possible without friendship with God. Friendship requires the courage to resist evil and not hurting a friend and speaking the truth when they need to know it and standing up for one’s friend. A coward has no friends. Neither does a two-faced person.
When you think of it, we all depend on the love and generosity of God and each other. Happiness means that I am willing to help put your happiness as a priority in my life. Sacrifice is standing up courageously to moral dangers. Friendship with Christ through prayer and self-discipline and care of one’s brothers or sisters is the very best of all. This is the teaching of the Bible and it is the teaching of Father Flanagan.
posted by Fr. Peter | 8:44 AM
